Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
