I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
