I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
