I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
