that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
