how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
