there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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