don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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