I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
