Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize