in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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