I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
