Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
