ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
