apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
