Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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