Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
