I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
