and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
