Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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