Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Quick, to the slutcave!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
