Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I need help removing her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize