Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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