he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
