Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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