i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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