Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
