She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
