I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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