Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize