Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In other news, I just burned my penis
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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