Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
