he fucked my hip out of place.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
