Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
God, I missed his penis.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize