I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
