fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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