are you so shy because you have an std?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
