my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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