Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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