Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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