How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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