Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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