Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
