we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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