I think I won the penis lottery.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
