I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
