We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
