So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Moan for me like Helen Keller
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize