At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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