Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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