My brain says no but my pants say off.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
