So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
