ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
