PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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