Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She said her name was "party"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
