I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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