Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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