The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize