Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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