WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Found the puke drawer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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