and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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