Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
