Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
