the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
