hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
