I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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