Yo dont text me then not text me
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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