a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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