so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
