Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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