Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
