So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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