Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
