Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize